Teen life can be difficult to navigate: overthinking what someone told you at school, being left out by the locker, falling asleep late because you’re anxious about tomorrow. Life is hard. Feelings are real. But you don’t have to be alone in the struggle. Here are 20 things every teen girl Needs to know., realistic advice for teen girl.
1. You don’t have to be in a relationship
But maybe you want someone who takes you to the dances and raves to his friends about you and posts selfies of the two of you on social media. Everyone else looks happy on your phone screen. Maybe if you had a boyfriend or girlfriend, everything would magically be fine. Don’t get me wrong, feeling lonely sucks. However, most of the time those relationships won’t last a long time. Instead, make friends and maybe that will lead to a genuine relationship. Don’t bank on someone else for happiness. If you do like him though that doesn’t mean you two can’t be friends. Spare yourself the heartache; you don’t have to be in a relationship.
2. You don’t have to change who you are to fit in
Finding people who truly love and appreciate you comes from being yourself. If you’re with a group of people you have to perform for, find another group! There are so many people out there who will be thrilled to get to know you exactly as you are. Bottom line, don’t feel like you have to change who you are.
3. The “popular crowd” is overrated
Breaking your back over trying to fit in with that crowd is not worth your time. After middle school and high school, nobody cares at all who is “popular” or not. What matters is being a decent human being—someone who is loving, sweet, honest. Not a person who is rude, mean and arrogant. If treating those around you terribly defines “popular” then once you move on to the real world, nobody will want to be your friend.
4. Don’t worry about others’ opinions
People’s negative thoughts are not worth your time. Regardless of what other people think, if you know your intentions, what they say doesn’t matter. Trust yourself through the noise. Ignore them and eventually they will give up.
5. Weight and physical appearance does not define who you are
Very few people in history have been remembered by their physical appearance. Most everyone we admire is because of their personality. It sucks though, scrolling through your phone and seeing photos of other girls who appear to have the perfect body. Comparing ourselves to models doesn’t help our self-esteem either. We want to look like them. What is on the outside does not matter; what is inside you is everything important.
6. Grades do not define you
I obsessed over my grades in high school, causing nothing but stress in my life. Don’t get me wrong, getting good grades is great, but do not let the weight and pressure of “getting a good grade” become a trigger for you. Important as they are, reality says people do not care about who has the highest grade. Companies will hire you based on your passion for the work you do, not your selfish motives to rise up in their business. Grades are not everything, they definitely do not define who you are and will be in life.
7. Sports Do Not Define You
Sports are great, providing many opportunities to learn about life and build character. However it’s very easy to wrap up your identity in sports which can lead to lots of problems in the future. Don’t place all your value, worth, and time into a game.
8. Ask for Help!
Never ever shy away from wanting help with something in your life, whether that is school, sports, friends and most importantly your mental health. To be clear, doing so is not a symbol of weakness and it is not a sign you are somehow a level down from everyone else. If you need help, that’s okay. Ask away!
9. Don’t be afraid to go to a counselor
Asking for help includes if you need to go to a counselor. Counselors are there for people brave enough to stand up for their own needs in a world that tells them not to. They are there for a reason. If you are struggling with anything, no pain is too small to talk about. We say to ourselves, “some people just have it so much worse”, and struggle on because of our pride. No feeling is too small to talk about. When you talk through your emotions at that age, I promise you, no amount of school will be able to give you the same kind of preparation for life like talking about your feelings will.
10. Find a mentor
Even if you do not choose to see a counselor, no matter what, you can always benefit and become a better person by looking for a mentor. Finding someone wise is no small task, so when you pick her, make sure she truly listens to you and does not try to invalidate what you are going through at the time. In my own life, I have had good people and continue to maintain friendships with those I invested time with. One of those people loves me and still keeps up with my life. She mentored me without her knowing it. I hope you find someone wise, willing to listen and someone loyal to you, willing to invest in your story.
11. Stand up for what you believe in
Believe in yourself and stand your ground. I am not talking about politics. I mean, do you believe you should be a good human being? Treating people with kindness and compassion is a hill worth dying on.
12. Live in the Moment
As someone who thinks ahead to what is going to happen next, I know how difficult it can be to truly live in the moment. When I do, I notice I am happier overall. In your situation, ultimately 4 years should not decide the course of your life or the only memories you can look back on for happiness. But, enjoying those moments are essential to your mental health and well-being in the here and now.
13. Let go of toxic friends
Mean girls are just masking insecurities, a pain they are afraid to really look at. For those who do not know themselves truly, hurting other people keeps their mind off really growing to become who they are meant to be. It’s better to be alone for a while than to hold on to friends who treat you poorly.
14. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm
You do not owe anyone anything. Friends who expect you to bend over backwards just to help them all at once, expect way too much. Set yourself on calm to keep yourself stable.
15. Save money
Living in the moment is great, spending too much then isn’t always that good. Just a few years ago, I was a teen like you, I wish I knew what I am going to tell you, Save Money. Spend money on what is meaningful and save for what you believe will help you the most. Trust me, you will be glad you did.
16. Be you
Believing in yourself only makes sense when you are already yourself. Finding true friends comes from being yourself. Knowing you do not need a boyfriend or that grades, sports and school do not define you comes from being yourself. Placing your self-worth in what is real versus your physical appearance, peoples opinion is only possible by being yourself. Do not let anyone else tell you who you are. Remember, you are special, created with a unique personality, which points to the image of God.
Ok so I didn’t get quite to twenty tips but close enough haha. I hope you found these tips helpful!
Karis Hortin - 20 things every teen girl NEEDS to know.
I recently graduated from Lincoln Christian University with a degree in Business Administration. A little fun fact about me, I was adopted from Ethiopia Africa at the age of 9. I am a certified life coach for teens, content creator, and social media manager. I got introduced to the social media world when I started my own YouTube channel 3 years ago. As a content creator, I have realized the power of social media is absolutely endless. This is why I choose to use social media to inspire and encourage teen girls.
