Sometimes, when someone is going through a difficult time, I tell them I’m thinking of them. Or that I’m sending them love and light. Or that I’m praying for them. I often say these things because I want to help, but this is usually as far as it goes. I’m thinking of you, is code for I want to help but I don’t know how, and usually, at least for me, it goes no further than that.

But then recently I was introduced to Loving Kindness Meditation. You can read more about it here or here, but basically, it’s like blasting out invisible laser beams of love.

You don’t have to sit cross-legged at a certain time or place. You can do it wherever you happen to be: In the car or at the post office or sitting in your work cubicle or waiting for the bell to ring or mopping up spaghetti sauce.

Start with these words:

May you be well.
May you be happy.
May your life unfold with ease.

Long-time practitioners of loving kindness suggest that you start with sending this prayer to yourself. Because it’s difficult to offer love to others when you are suffering a personal shortage.  

May I be happy.
May I be well.
May my life unfold with ease.

It might take a while to really mean it. But keep offering!

Once you’ve softened to the idea of loving yourself, think about someone you admire and respect. Maybe a teacher or parent or mentor. Send them these phrases.

Next, think about a friend.

Then, someone you feel neutral about. A co-worker. Or the woman who delivers your mail.

Then, once you’re feeling the hang of all this love, try with someone you feel animosity toward. Maybe a person who has spread gossip about you. Or an in-law who gets under your skin. Or that guy driving so unbelievably slow in the fast lane. Send him love:

May you be happy.
May you be well.
May your life unfold with ease.

For me, doing this feels like a superpower. Like I’m Storm from X-Men, blasting people with weather-beams of love. I like to let the phrases move through me, to feel them in my body and see them as tangible envoys, anonymous offerings as real as (and more powerful than) a gift-wrapped present or a dozen roses. Because there is absolutely no expectation of receiving anything in return. It’s a practice that makes me feel more connected, both to myself and to those around me.