Why My Children Will Never Have A Smartphone

I looked around the room filled with teenage kids. With the amount of kids that resided in the room you would have thought the atmosphere would be filled with laughter and chit-chat, but instead, heavy silence filled the room. For a moment, I was perplexed at the amount of bent over bodies and bowed heads, but soon realized the cause of the quiet. Each individual was entranced with their phone. Completely oblivious to their surroundings. “Disconnect To Connect,” I said at a volume slightly lower than a scream. The frequency of this scene does not resonate well with me.

I pride myself that I am a talker. A collector of people and their stories. I can connect with the elderly, small children, and teenagers with little effort. I love a great conversation and the connection with people feeds my soul. Lately, however, I have seen a shift. I find myself having more one-sided conversations with the upcoming generation. The engagement is sometimes non-existent. Anxiety and depression seem to plague so many. People feel unworthy, insignificant, alone and left out. I have no doubt that this shift has a direct correlation with the amount of time people, especially youth, spend on their phones.

Forbes recently released an article on phone addictions. Issues with our youth and “phone addiction” have risen steadily in the past five years, and “social media addiction” trails it closely. Interestingly, phone addiction and social media addiction are intertwined. According to these Interesting smart phone statistics many children get their first phone when they’re 11 and are twelve around the time they start posting on social media. Furthermore, approximately 70% of media time is spent on a smartphone. It seems phones are rarely being used for talking anymore, but instead social media.

Last month, MIT’s Sloan Management Review published a very enlightening experiment-professors at two business schools in Italy and France made giving up one’s smartphone for a day a requirement of the students in their courses. Most of the students, who could plan what day they’d give up their phones, felt anxiety. They didn’t know what to do with the extra time, from eating breakfast to riding on public transportation. They also noted how often people who did have phones checked their phones-one student pointed out that his friend checked his phone four times in a 10 minute period-and that that was probably what they themselves looked like on a typical day.

Another study which also had young people give up their phones found that they performed worse on mental tasks and became withdrawn. They felt physiological symptoms, like increased heart rate and blood pressure. They also felt a sense of loss or lessening, of their extended self-their phones.

But the reality, especially for younger people, is that phone use, especially heavy use, isn’t so lighthearted. There is a rise in depression and suicide in teenagers in recent years. The CDC had noted a rise in the rates of both over the years 2010-2015 and found that girls were particularly at risk: Their suicide rate rose by 65% in those five years. The number of girls with severe depression rose by 58%. There is a colossal amount of research around this topic, all of which have the same disheartening conclusion. In contrast, studies show teens who spent more time doing sports, homework, socializing with a friend in real life and going to church have a lower risk for both depression and suicide.

I realize, even with all of this research, this does not mean every child or adult will be affected negatively. But if you knew there was a good chance your child would become an alcoholic would you give them a drink? As a mother, I will NOT take the risk. I do not want my child to constantly be exposed to the comparison, a false sense of reality, pornography, and feelings of inadequacy. I want my child to feel connected, loved, and to experience relationships in the flesh. I want them to feel compassion through physical touch. I want them to give and receive compliments, not insincere “LIKES”. I want them to measure their self-worth through acts of compassion, not how many followers they have.

I realize this is an uphill battle and I may be a minority. I also realize my children may feel left out and isolated at times, but I am willing to fight for my children’s well being no matter how uncomfortable I may be.

Article by Brittni Schroeder