WHO RAISED THESE BOYS?

How an unexpected act of kindness helped my daughter feel connected and confident, and taught me the power of a good example. 

This was my oldest daughter’s 3rd move in 10 years.  My child who struggles with transitions and change.  The girl who has no idea how talented and clever she is, because she constantly thinks she’s failing.  So moving to a new state, new neighborhood and new school, in her mind, were just more opportunities for her to fail.  Making new friends is painful for her, she’s so worried she’ll get rejected, she usually ends up standing behind the pole at the playground rather than jumping in the game.  She desperately wants to belong, but has no idea how.  Her younger siblings are oblivious to self doubt and seem to make a new friend wherever they go.

There’s a park by our new house with a playground, field and walking path.  As my kids played at the park, I walked our dog around the path.  In the field was a group of teenage boys playing football.  As I walked near the boys, my kids also ran up to the boys and asked if they could play too.  Imagine a group of teen boys in the middle of their game interrupted by a 10, 8 and 6 year old.  I almost started to call out and apologize for my kids, but the boys shrugged, smiled and said, “Sure.”

For the next hour I watched the boys run play passes with my kids, play keep away, and teach technical skills.  They called my kids by name, laughed with them and had endless patience.  My eyes welled with tears to think of these teen boys who stopped what they were doing to help my kids feel included.  I’m sure it wasn’t convenient, it definitely wasn’t necessary, but it was incredible.  My kids walked on clouds that day.  My daughter’s confidence soared.

Who are their mothers I wondered?  What did they do to raise such kind, unselfish boys?  What were the lessons they weaved by word and example?  How many times did their parents stop their daily list to play legos, help with homework, and spend extra time at bedtime to make their son’s feel valued?  These boys then turned around to help others feel valued.  How blessed I felt to be on the receiving end.  A few days later, our neighbors with children younger than mine were out front.  My daughter went over and paid attention to their little girls and played games with them.  She told me afterwards she remembered how good it felt like to have older people notice you, and she wanted to do the same.

It didn’t take any money or planning for these boys to make a difference.  They simply responded with kindness when given the opportunity.  They probably didn’t think anything of it, but telling my daughter “Nice pass,” helped empower her to stay in the game, have a great time and feel happy about her new surroundings.  It helped her look beyond her insecurities and connect with others as well.

Those boys may never know of their impact on my family, but I’m grateful for their decision to include my children.  Their simple deed continues to spread goodness and connection.  That’s something we could all use a little more of, and it’s something we all can share.

XOXO,

Amy Tenney